Of Glamourous Night and Shits.

The Pre law dinner was nice.It's fun to watch the girls with their attires and surprisingly they look gorgeous,becasue I didnt expect them to dress up that much for the dinner(due to the name of the venue:Swiss Inn,I imagine a lousy inn.LOL) but their efforts to look good is overwhelming,they even had this shuffling session and i was completely dumbfounded to see the guy in white shuffling.He was GREAT!! I nearly eat my own words whenever I think back about that night.

Last night both of my hps were attacked by virus and went crazy.I was in total bad mood since evening(lack of sleep and horribly tired) then I tried to call him but to no avail.Then when I FINALLY able to reach him,he was angry at me and I swear he was half shouting at me.I feel like crying when I heard his tone.Fck. I was worried about him.He's not completely healthy yet,those wounds havent recovered and nearly 48 hours of no news abt him is more than enough to make me crazy and he's like blaming me for not being understanding enough.

Then this fucking virus attacked my hp and I cant do anything abt it other than reformating. So all those msges are gone.theyre not only msges,they're memories of my happier days, they make me feel better when I feel so insecure,they store back my faith in him... and now theyre gone and I am left with nothing. What am I supposed to do?

Maybe theyre holding me back from moving on..

Egh,Guys,men...will never understand.....

I BELONG TO ME...

"I belong to me,
I don't belong to you,
My heart is my possesion
I'll be my own reflection
I dont belong to you..."

Ive been playing dat song in my mind over n over again since i heard it this morning. A very meaningful song. Love is a wonderful feeling.Who can resist the feeling of being loved,being taken care of,being missed all the time..and having someone who means so much as someone that can be depended on..

I love to be in love and be loved.

I just hate those excruciating heartbreaks in the end.When promises are just left broken. When dreams are unreachable.When memories are fading away.

SUCKS.

LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU LOVE OTHERS. Dont let people change the way you are. Dont let people make you feel down about yourself.

MR dawn's unlucky day.

Today is a good day.NOT GREAT,but it doesn't SUCK either! so Hallelujah!

Dawn involved in a self accident.He was NOT sober when riding his motorcycle.I TOLD HIM LIKE A GAZILLION TIMES TO BE CAREFUL.He tried to call me but I was too stupid to leave my hp in the room.And i feel so fcking guilty.

I AM SO THANKFUL THAT HE'S ALIVE AND BREATHING.despite the bruises and scratches on his arms.He's taking his medicines religiously but afraid to put the ointment on.

He might lose his life if the car from behind didn't stop.He might be gone.THOSE THOUGHTS i have in my twisted crazy mind is horrible.I can't sleep whenever I imagining him when the accident happends. He's lucky to be able to walk still.

I just wish I can be there with him.At least I can force him to put those excruciating ointment on.and kisssssssssssss the pain awayyyyyyyyy!

ME today.

HELLO! *waves* <--indicator that i am in a pretty good mood.wtvs.

Anyways,Yesterday I went for a shopping sphree at Queensbay,new mall in Penang.Loaded with some real money to spend especially for the ever-so-glamorous dinner.So much to glam myself for a dinner in this *censored* shythole. HUEHUEHUEHUE.

I nearly got cross-eyed just by looking at those blings-blings.I love the Diva(the name of the shop). I will go back to that shop and bring my dad(or without) and his crdt card and buy those shits I want.And my dad will kill me for buying uneccesary things. THE END.

OH wait,that is not "UNNECCESARY" things. I mean HEL-LOOO!!!! WE ARE GIRLS,and accesories are like,oxygen!or FOOD.! or clothes!

We got back from penang,30 minutes after the goddamn UITM KEDAH curfew(10 pm??!!) like, WHAT THE FUCK?? I swear if i have like 1gazilions of money I will not go back and check into the 5 star hotel(insert the name of the hotel here) and go back only the next day.

OR better,enroll to another uni.

I miss watching Grey's anatomy.They sell the series in Speedy but its for rm249.90. I rather buy a dozen of Vincci pumps and flats and stilettos.

And I dont really like the heels that I bought because they're just 2.5 inch. URGHHHHHHHH!

AND i love those motherfckingly gorgeous heels in ALDO. too bad the price is totally out of my range.and the amount of money I have is insufficient to buy them.


OKAY THAT'S ALL!

(this post is obviously trying to distract myself from writing one about my pathetic love-life).

DAAAAAAAAAAAAA~

A TRUE FRIEND.

Over the years Ive been blessed with wonderful circle of friends.Friends I can count on,friends that listen,friends who help whatever they can.friends who understand me.

But now i feel so alone.maybe its this place(again) but i cant help feeling suffocated and alone whenever i feel down about something and i feel like i cant talk to anyone abt shits that happened.Maybe i distant myself from them.Maybe we're not like what we were before.Maybe the distance has its price.Maybe its work(assgnment,studies bla2) restrain us from catching up with each other's stories.Maybe its my fault,burdening ppl with my endless problems and it bores the hell out of them.MAYBE.

Just Maybe.

jerk

Maybe it's me.Maybe I am running away. Or maybe he knows I'm leaving.Going away. All that shits.I just want him to know that all my feelings are real.I did have feelings for him.I do.But I just can't see US.

Yes I am leaving.

And it sucks more cos it MIGHT break his heart,but mine is already in pieces. I have no one to talk,and ppl i know feel so distant and unreachable.

I feel so unloved.and broke to even have a retail shopping therapy.

I AM CURSED.

Sorry dawn, I feel like a jerk but u're better off without me.

SANE

I have done a post yday but there was a complication and I cant either save or post it.

SUCKER.

Anyways, I am in pain now.I mean the muscles of both of my legs are killing me,my back pain is becoming worst than yesterday and I cant sit still for more than 30 minutes. And to make it worst,I have a volleyball tournament this Friday. HA HA. n ping pong for the next weekend. (I also will be playing futsal this tuesday).

Today,ALL OF A SUDDEN,it R-A-I-N-E-D! I mean there is WATER coming out from the sky. LOTS OF WATER. And now I realised why it was so hot last night I feel like sleeping in a microwave.

Talking about Dawn,I really missed him.I don't know why I am becoming so emotionally attached to that annoying giant.

I dont knw what else to talk about.I guess I write better when Im less happier.Now that I am quite happy,I can't seem to write anything.

Is that a good thing? I have no idea.

But at least I AM STILL SANE!

I have done a post yday but there was a complication and I cant either save or post it.

SUCKER.

Anyways, I am in pain now.I mean the muscles of both of my legs are killing me,my back pain is becoming worst than yesterday and I cant sit still for more than 30 minutes. And to make it worst,I have a volleyball tournament this Friday. HA HA. n ping pong for the next weekend. (I also will be playing futsal this tuesday).

Today,ALL OF A SUDDEN,it R-A-I-N-E-D! I mean there is WATER coming out from the sky. LOTS OF WATER. And now I realised why it was so hot last night I feel like sleeping in a microwave.

Talking about Dawn,I really missed him.I don't know why I am becoming so emotionally attached to that annoying giant.

I dont knw what else to talk about.I guess I write better when Im less happier.Now that I am quite happy,I can't seem to write anything.

Is that a good thing? I have no idea.

But at least I AM STILL SANE!

Trying to wake up a gentle monster.

Dawn was asking me to wake him up for his morning class last night.So I agreed since I'll be awake by that time.

Yea,so I called him from 7.01 am.

and he didnt pick up the phone.

And I redialed.

still he didnt pick the phone up.

And I redialed for another 20 times.

It was already 7.20 a.m and he hasnt picked the phone up yet.

I showered.Then by 7.30 I tried for another 10 times.

AFTER the total of 30 calls,Finally he answered my call.

That was when I was already showered,ironed my bj kurung,put on my undergarments and put on my baju kurung.

GOSH! Its like me being Jack in the fairytale Jack and the Beanstalk,trying to wake the monster up.a TALL, NAUGHTY,STUBBORN,ANNOYING monster that injured his leg while playing football.Told him to sleep early but he never listens.He said being sober is boring(Cant deny that,booze makes times fly fast).

LOL.love him anyways.

WISH ME LUCK FOR TOMORROW MORNING.