the end of 2006.

This is the final post of the year 2006.The year which is full of tears and laughters.

This year I went to study miles from home.
This year I have found new friends.
This year I have cheated on my boyfriend,and regretted it.
This year I have lost him.
This year I was horribly devastated.
This year I fell in love with someone,and fell out of love just as quick.
This year I am closer to my brother.
This year I disappointed myself.

For breaking hearts,for letting people down,for not living up to their expectations,for not being good enough,for not giving them what they want,for not being MISS PERFECT.

For all those things I know I should've done better and for those I've should've known better.

I am thankful for what I had achieved and I am sorry for what I failed to do.

2007,hopefully,will be a better year.

Bario the total awesomeness.

I'm going to say it over and over again : Bario's awesome. The short trip is definitely worth my 12 hours ass-sore ride from Miri to Pa' Berang and the nerve-wrecking 2 hours boat ride in the dark.

In the sampan,I was FREEZING,and TERRIFIED.2 freaking hours.I reached my grandfather's house at approximately 10 pm.I dozed off shortly right in front of the "fireplace".The next morning I still felt a bit sore but it never stop me from man-hunting. huahuahuahuah.

And I did saw him,itu Mr Dolphin, and we did hung out for the rest of the following days. ;P

I had fun.And I just couldn't resist a man who offered me some LOVEEEE.. LOL
just a man, A man who never fails to make me laugh like a mad gorilla with his wicked sense of humour.And a man who never fails to keep me coming back to him. Mad Mad.

Yea,I do miss him but those feelings building up inside me is not what i called LOVE.

its just some sort of a feeling. or Lust.

Fooling around is a lot of fun. And didn't I mention that I'm a bitch? I think I did.

I think I better get some sleep.Tomorrow I'm mengecat-ing my room.Gonna be a long long day.

Daa!

Merry Christmas!

I am going back to Bario in less than 3 hours time. A part of me is beyond excited to go but the other part is thinking of cancelling it.

Why? I have no idea.Maybe because I will feel so far from him.Maybe we will grow a distance. Maybe I will start to miss him once I'm in Bario,which is so not helping.I could call him up,but I just don't have a good reason for doing that.

I hope this short trip to Bario is WORTH it.

So I am not going to be here in Miri during the Christmas Eve.

who cares anyways.

SO yea,Merry Christmas!!

Happiness

Feeling so happy these few days.I went for an awesome picnic with my friends,I went to the Funfair and not forgetting those countless jolly outings with my buddies.

Happy.HAPPY.hApPy.

Holidays are almost over and in few weeks I am going back to Kedah and study for monthsss before my next holiday.

I'll upload LOTS of pictures later on.I'm going out(again!!) soon. LOL.

RED RED RED

Since Aysha bought a red lipstick,I just might as well buy something red for myself.

And I did.

Guess what? I bought a pair of flaming-red-coloured panties.

GRRRR...

CONGRATS!

YESS.

Finally,after years and yearssss of dreaming of having it,I finally pierced my ear.



And NO ONE is stopping me to get more and moorrreeee..

Asha pierced her ears too at the earlobes.So proud of her cos she had the guts to do it cos she's terrified of needles. CONGRATS btch.

Dedicated to Aysha. ENJOY.

I just downloaded the Smiley Central thingy,and now im going to amuse myself.

Today,I woke up feeling a little . Maybe it was the dream I had last night, but i just can't recall what was it about.Asha was still so I woke her up,told her I was hungry.Woops,I mean I was starving since both of us cant really so we went to at Pakcik Wan Cafe.My nasi goreng ayam was and I am so looking forward for another meal soon. The end.

Actresses:

(Alau the Hippo)
(Aysha the Platypus)

Although there are obvious huge differences between us,we manage to put them aside and be the best of friends.Sha, BBF*correction : BFF* ya!

Christmas Spirit

Christmas spirit is in town already~!

Aaron and I went for Christmas tree-hunting.

Look at these interesting things we found ;



These are the Christmas decoration at Servay Bhd.



And these too,but lack of Christmas colourful lights though.



And those disco-ball decorations are so glittery and all! Love it!



This is fabulous!!



This blue-ish Xmas tree is also pretty awesome!



This one is all gold and bling-bling!



SANTA! This one needs help! Santa,pimp this Xmas tree,will ya??

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! HO HO HO.

Of disapointment and shits.

I really hate it when I disappoint others.

I hate it when someone texted me and expect me to reply but I ran out of credit.
I hate it when I failed in my subjects and have to tell my dad about it.
I hate it when I planned on something but have to pull out at the last minute.
I hate it when I promised to my best friend that I'll take her out but I have to cancel it.
I hate it when I have to say No when someone asked me out.
I hate it when I can't do much to help a friend who is in pain.
I hate it when I have to fake my own feelings just to make someone happy.

I hate it because I'm not entirely honest with him and with myself,but what's worst is when I have to disappoint him when I say I am over our past. I hate it when I can't be there for him as a friend and nurse him through the bad times.I so freaking hate the feeling of letting people down.

I hate my past.I don't wan't to go back there. So its either I have to go back or I have to be brutally honest.

Sometimes I just hate choices.

today as it is.

I want to fall in love again. I want to feel all the wonderful feeling of loving someone and being loved in return.

But I can't.I just can't.

And I hope you know it's not because of you.It's not about you.

Always,he will.

He's not that into me.He's just not that into me.

Pfft.As if i didn't know that already.Damn,those memories.Those laughs.Those smiles.Those glances.Those words.Those promises.Those everything.

How a person can change in a blink of an eye.How changes can be so dreadful and frustrating. Or how a person can be so much different that who you thought he was.

But I'm fine,I have such a wonderful life ahead of me.I have one lovely family and wonderful circle(s) of friends.

Too bad he is no longer a part of my joy and happiness.

But,as cliche as it may sounds,he will ALWAYS,ALWAYS be someone I remember for the rest of my life.

Aaron came back to Miri and brought something so eye-catching from Kuching.


A ciggie.A pink ciggie.A strawberry-flavoured ciggie.And the filter is pink too! LOL.
I don't think they sell it here yet.

These are random pics of us at Esplanade.



My once-housie.huehuehue.



My chill buddy in Kuching,Chris.

We had such a great time that night and laughing our asses off.

and I miss that ciggie.

Lose,Lost,Loss.

I have learned one of the many meanings of LOST and LOSS recently.We experienced it almost every other day.

I have lost my money.
I have lost my favourite ring.
I have lost a best friend.
I have lost my cousin.
I have lost my boyfriend.
I have lost my pride.
I have lost myself.

Sometimes we take things or others for granted.Then,when we lost them,we tend to appreciate them more when they're gone.

Sometimes we think of our loss as a curse or a bad karma.Very few of us accept it as a lesson of life.

It is hard when we lost some,but there is a reason for everything.Maybe,it is the time for us to appreciate all those little things in life.Say our grace when good things happen. Thank people more.Show them our love.Share our happiness.Laugh a little more.Cry only when you should.

And most of all,never take anything OR anyone for granted,because we just don't know when we might lose them and we just might don't have the chance to tell them how we really feel.

Part 2

Here,as I promised.



That's Me and Izza,the birthday girl.



The view of ParkCity Everly Hotel. Better view than Marriott Resort & Spa because you can see the town and the Marina Bay.



The pool view.



That is one happy bitch.



During the dinner at Dynasty Hotel. She totally dig the guy behind her. She said grey hair is a turn-on,and I just collapsed right there and then.Kidding.And that sort-0f-candle there, reminds me of lampu pelita in Bario,back in the old days.



The pool view at night.NICE.



This is me. Huhuhaha.



Blur.Now you know why I never take picture with her next to me. She's motherfucking TALL.



You know why we're laughing?As the very proud orang ulu-s(Izza's half Kenyah), we know that thing over there,shouldn't even be up there.Those ParkCity dudes are so creative.I wish I have one of those in my bedroom. On the second thought,it looks like a gigantic..ermm..nevermind..



The pool.Feel like jumping in.



I never pose like that for a pic.Never.That must be the Chivas doing craps to my head.



That,my darling,is Malibu.



And me,all happy and shit.



Frozen Margarita.



ScrewDriver,or is it spelled with s?Not sure.



That's the cake.They're 10 candles.1 bigger,I mean fatter candle symbolises 10 years and the other 9 candles means 9 years.So she's 19,and not 10 years old. Geddat? The cake is named as Chocolate Coating.



That's the Birthday girl,and her cake.



Me and my tiny slice of cake.Don't be fooled,I ate another 2 big slices after that. Screw diet on a birthday celebration!!!



Us playing with that poor little cherry..(sexy la konon..)



Just look at those legs!Pfft!You got chainsaw ka?You have? Pass it to me! NOWW~!

One last snap before the day ends...



Eh salah..sik centre that... Another one pls..



WTF? I went "yala ko Izza,tinggi gilakkkk!!!"

Then,another one..



OK.Nice(Although Izza's head ter cut-off abit).

And one last thing.CHRISTMAS TREE.



This one here,is just GORGEOUS.

Till then.nites!

Love and Hurt

I was watching Laguna Beach Season 2 episode 15,about Lauren and Jason,and that stupid little brat,Jessica.

So yea,Lauren doesn't know the real Jason so she has an excuse for hooking up with him,but it amazes me how Jessica can be so downright stooooopid.Jason has two-timed her for like 1792th times and in the end she still wants to be with that bastard.How pathetic is that?

And Jason,is almost similar to an orang utan. Talan is way hotter.

ANYWAYS,thinking about it,actually people do that quite often,running back to the person that hurt us,because we thought we can't live without that person.We thought he will like,change or smthing and forgetting that some people just don't change.EVER.

I've been there.I've done those craps.I was in a total denial,a HUGE one.I was so so want to believe that I'm his everything and he is THE ONE for me. Then, I've come to realise that love doesn't have to hurt.

It really doesn't.

Of Izza's Birthday..

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY IZZA FARIHANA!!!!!
Izza celebrated her 19th birthday last Tuesday, 5th of Dec. It was fun,we chilled for awhile at a friend's room and have few rounds of Chivas.Then we had dinner at Cafe Rosita,Dynasty Hotel and then went to ParkCity Everly Hotel to get ourself cocktails.



Heading to Izza's house.Sempat take picture while stopping at the traffic light. Now that's what I call cam-ho y'all!



At the lobby.Look at Izza,she's glowing and me,I looked so fcked up,even before those drinks!



Finally,in the room with the sea view. Want to see the sea view?



There you have it.The yet-to-be-completed Marina Bay.



This one here,is I-Don't-Know-What building.Maybe a restaurant,or a replacement for the so-last-century CB. Whatever it is, as long as it looks cool,who gives a damn?!



That is the picture of the port,where the rich-and-famous put their yatchs,speedboats or what so ever I don't know..

I'll upload other pics soon. My pc mintak kenak paluk.

So kindly excuse me for awhile.Have to cari my baseball bat.